Yet Another Day

It just feels so good to write at night, when the day's almost done. There's nothing to do except reflect on how the day went and the things you have accomplished.

The month's finally coming to an end. That fast. I find it amazing that I wake up everyday with lots of things to do and before I sleep at night I find myself in awe thinking about how I managed to deal with yet another day. The month has been good to me. I love being surrounded with people who really want to be friends with you, not just at the surface-level. I love people who are this sincere, who make time and effort to get to know you better. And I leave it at that. I am truly happy.

I shall end this day thinking that I'm in that luxurious bedroom with the beautiful sunset view, and dream until another day has come.

(The image is an entire room made of miniature materials, a bedroom inside a dollhouse, displayed at a museum in Taipei. Have to write about that next.)

Balanced Life

Haven't written anything for weeks. Perhaps my brain's dehydrated from using up the few pints of creative juices I have for my presentations. I have done three this month so far, one for each course. Still need to do 5 more, and then term paper proposals and the term paper itself.

May is still 2 months away but I can almost feel it coming. I know there's a lot of things to do, just what I have mentioned, but I'll get there. The happiness I'm feeling now is just out of nowhere. Sometimes, as I cross the street, or just walk my way to get some steaming hot soy milk and Taiwanese breakfast crepe each morning, I can feel my lips smiling without any apparent reason. I guess I'm just real happy now. I have so much to think about, topics for papers, my internship applications, and moving out of this place called hellish dorm, but I like taking it slow. That's why I take advantage of cold quiet nights like this one because I can just surf the web in my bed, write anything, and listen to Norah Jones.

That's life for me now. I guess it's all about balance. Studying, having fun, getting to know people more so I can truly call them friends, and nurturing this friendship that would definitely last a lifetime, even if I know that some would go back to their homelands three or four months from now, and I have no idea if we'd still see each other again. But as they say, you got to savor the moment. And I never thought learning Chinese would be fun all over again. No "si diam" this time around. Our teacher would really make sure that we understand each word she says and each word we read. This is the reason why I'm now addicted to simple Chinese conversations, improving on my Chinese little by little. I just need more time to study the tones and other vocabularies and I'm on my way to Book 4! My week's always about studying my four courses, with twice a week Chinese class, and then fun lunches and dinner with classmates and friends, but at the bottom of all things, I still get my work done no matter what.

I have to thank the Big Boss up because I know that this balance and peace I'm having now is from Him. I'm starting to miss a lot of people again. But this time around, I wont let that swallow me up. I try to go out more now and talk to people, and not just sulk around in my room. About my feelings and worries, I just bring them up to God at night, or whenever we talk. I know He'll not let me down and would watch upon my friends and beloved family, that's one thing I'm sure of.

Hoping, praying that things would fall into place again, as it always does. With His grace.

Wednesday Dinners

If there is one thing I love about living alone in a place utterly unfamiliar to me (well, that was before) is the fact that I can go on wandering everyday, ruminating about things that I should do, planning ahead on the days yet to come. I may not have all the comfort here, but I am enjoying every bit of freedom. I am taking things one step at a time and absorbing all the things that I need to learn. I can feel that I have grown as an individual-psychologically, emotionally and spiritually, that is perhaps because of the different people I meet every single day of my life.

These people make me realize how different we are from one another. Sure there are cultural differences and sometimes even language barriers, but those are what motivate me to step forward and reach out. Social interaction and our communication process are indeed coping and survival mechanisms. What would you do without the ability to articulate your thoughts? Without friends? You're closest pals may leave later on in life, but I bet there'd be good ones coming along the way. Just look at those people I've been hanging out with lately. I thought life will be harder now that my closest friends went back. But thanks to Danielle who organized the dinner club, there are no more lonely dinners on Wednesdays. Meeting new friends is always good, and keeping the friendship is the best. I will continue taking things slow, enjoying every dinner I have and making new friends every now and then. It's fun just like that.

No Crying

You know what's the most painful thing to see? It's seeing you cry, seeing your tears fall from those delicate eyes, seeing you sniff, seeing you sigh. It pains me too much, so much that I would also want to cry to share the feeling. I never wished life could be easier, I never prayed for a perfect life. Having you already makes me feel happy and blessed. Perhaps we could just forget the things happening now because I know from the very start that there is nothing left to do. I have succumbed to the fact that nothing could change one's heart lest he is willing to accept and embrace goodness. Just let it be. I am here, we are all here, always, for you, as you have also been for us. Cry no more. Wipe those tears away. I have always told you this and will be telling you forever... That my love for you is more than words can say. We will be okay. God is good, God is great.

Wishes on Lanterns

My shopping for classes phase is already done. I'm now settled with the courses I'll be taking for the Spring Semester. I have class from Monday to Thursday but my scedule's pretty manageable. The best decision I have made so far in my stay here is to take the special Chinese class in our Language Center. Our class met our teacher this afternoon and she's incomparable to all the Chinese teachers I had in high school. I may be loaded with school work this semester because I took four subjects for graduate school, but I think it's just enough to keep me busy. Am really excited to improve on my Chinese (it's been 5 years since I last attended a Chinese class) and to learn new things on human interaction, feminist thought, communication psychology and internet life (pretty much sums up the courses I'm taking). Sounds tough, but I am positive that I will make it through just like the last time, or maybe even better.

Also, last weekend I had friends from DLSU who came over and toured Taiwan. I brought them to Pingxi because I thought it would be nice to experience how locals live out their traditions (lantern making). We bought ready-made lanterns and wrote our wishes. When the sky was dark enough, we lit up our lanterns and sent them to heaven to meet with perhaps our Creator, and negotiate if the "wishes" are doable. I hope they are. The wishes are for my family, nothing more.

First post for this month of March. More to come I hope! I must say that I'm really blessed with so much this past days. My friends left but new ones came along. Another set of friendship to nurture. Thank You Lord for being so great. My heart would always belong to You. I wish I'd be guided with all the decisions I will be making, all the presentations I will be preparing, and all the readings I will be digesting. I didn't write down this wish on my lantern, but it's always in my prayers.

*Writing this entry in a dark room with only my desk light on. Roomie's sleeping so I'm enjoying all the quiet time I have.*