That Basket of Biscuits

Two Sundays ago, my goddaughter Emi was carrying a basket of biscuits given to her by an auntie in church. She was playing with it when her mom, Agnes, suddenly said the basket closely resembles those being carried by little flower girls during weddings. Unexpectedly, she turned to me and said "Ninang, you have 3 more years okay?" Ummmm, why 3 more years? I asked.

In 3 years, Emi will be 6 years old, and Lisa (Emi's younger sister and my other goddaughter) will be turning 3. After that, Emi will be too old to be your flower girl- she explained, with concern in her voice. I felt the blood drain from my face. Then Auntie Belen and Auntie Maria started prodding. Help her find someone lah, they said in chorus. Woah, hang on. Stop. Give me a moment to breathe and digest what I just heard.

I didn't know how or what to react. Should I be happy that they are all concerned about my life, or should I dread the fact that I am given 3 years to find someone to fall in love with and tie the knot? I thought they will say my egg cells are expiring after 3 years (I'm glad they didn't. Or else I'm considering freezing them. I kid. Or maybe not.)

When I was 18, I sort of had in mind that I'll be getting married when I turn 26. I had it beautifully planned- the dress, the church wedding, the reception- but not the groom. Goodness gracious, I'm turning 27 in 3 months and I'm nowhere near marriage. PAAAAANIC ATTAAAAACK!!! OK. I'm over-reacting. Take a deep breath. Calm down. Smile.

Sometimes I do blame myself for being too... picky (for lack of better word). But then when I take a few steps back, I realize I am doing myself a favor by choosing the person I will get to spend the rest of my life with, and that it involves careful decision making- not just for the sake of having a boyfriend, or getting hitched. We're talking about "forever" not a day or two. We're talking about lifetime of togetherness, of sleeping side by side, of waking each day with the same person, sharing your toast, your cup of coffee, your toothpaste, your everything.

I went on dates after college and pushed the pause button when I was working for production. Looking back, I wasn't really interested to be in a relationship, or in a "mutual understanding" (shucks, that sounded so high school) to say the least. Then I arrived here in Taiwan where there's supposed to be a ''thriving'' community of international guys (I was expecting a buffet of them hahaha). But alas, these guys liked booze, bars and clubs, and as for me, I don't do parties. The idea of partying didn't attract me at all. I like nice conversations over a cup of tea, with optional Bossa Nova in the background. Still, my angels might have been hard at work so I ended up dating a few guys, but... nothing beyond friendship. (You see, sometimes a person's true character is revealed after courtship, and you'll thank yourself for saying 'no'.)

At this point in time, when my Facebook feed clogs with pre-nup photos shot in Santorini or Fiji Island or wherever in the world, announcements of who got engaged with who, (and even worse) sonogram photos with captions ranging from "my jellybean" to "hello little one", I really feel like time's running out. Then I hear stories of cheating, of bad relationships and failed marriages. It's at this point that I realize that maybe, I'm doing just fine.

I'll wait until the right person comes in God's time. I'm sure it will be beautiful. Even more beautiful than those same-day-edits with aerial shots and wedding photo slideshows on my feed (hahaha #peanutbitter). But seriously, I have learned to pray for him constantly, even for his life, for his career, for his family-- for whoever he is, I know he is worth praying and waiting for.

Lisa and Emi, you will be ninang's flower girls someday.

Ugh. I can't believe that basket of biscuits led me to write this entry. Above photo taken from Google Images.


Nheng said...

Hey 27 is still young! Don't rush it just enjoy every minute of it. I gave birth to my twins when I was 29. I thought I will be a matandang dalaga with no forever too hahaha.


Lux G. said...

I feel you, girl. Haha.

Love Love ♥ said...

OMG, I feel you so much! I have actually considered freezing eggs too because I do not want to be pressured of finding someone to be with just because of my biological clock. I want the man to arrive just on time.

You know what, we share the same sentiments in terms of why I am still single too. Don't worry sis, Lord will give us the right guy. Let's just pray for him. :D


Leah @ CuriousWeekends

Jacqueline Uy said...

@Neri Ann
Haha :) I'm taking my time na rin :)

@Lux G
That's why I can also relate to most of your entries on single-hood :)

Awww. Yes, He will provide! We just have to trust Him :)

Niko Batallones said...

Why be in a rush now? No panic, Jackie. No panic.

But HAHAHA on the "thriving community" bit. I never got that impression even before I got to Taiwan.

Jacqueline Uy said...

HAHA I'm not panicking! But YES apparently there's a 'thriving' community of expats here- most of them teach English for a living, drink before sunset, and party until sunrise. :)

Unknown said...

Had I been given the chance to re-do my life, I'd stay single prolly until I am 29. *But hey, I love my hubby and son so dang much, don't get me wrong* (^-^)
Going back to you, Miss Jacqueline, just take your time. Marriage is a totally different thing when compared to courtship or bf-gf relationships. If you feel like you haven't found the right guy to spend your life with, then by all means, stay single. Don't get too much "pressured". Enjoy your being single, enjoy life!

Rea Ninja said...

Awww, take this from me! I got married pretty young and had my own little one at about 23. We're the same age pala but I'll be 27 in December. Don't be pressured! Choose the one you really like. My mom even asked me once if I'm sure I want to get married na because she said that marriage is a life sentence (sounds nega, haha!) but truly it's a forever kind of thing. I still believe that the right one will come along when it's time. Most relatives will somehow put the pressure on you, as if they're the ones getting married. LOL!

Jacqueline Uy said...

@Mommy Charm
Awww thank you :) I will keep that it mind :)

Thank you, Rea! That's true, most of the pressure I'm feeling now comes from my relatives. Haha!