Achie's Advice

I am usually in bed by ten or eleven at night. I'd be in deep slumber hours after that. But last night was different. I was wide awake at an ungodly hour, one in the morning, enjoying a reality check 101 care of my Achie, an elder cousin. We talked on ym for about an hour or so until her eyes cant make it any longer.

I have really been living out of my deepest frustrations that it sometimes drives me nuts. I didn't know that the shallowest reasoning that underlines where I am right now would eventually bring everything to light. It's as if living in the shadows of darkness, where in the end, all you need is a battery operated flashlight to find your way at the end of the path. It's that easy, really.

And what's that logical reasoning behind everything I'm up to? It's destiny. It's plain kismet. Achie said I didn't become what I wanted to be because of sheer destiny. Or things end the way they do because that's what they are meant to be. And fortunately, when something bad happens, Achie said that it happens because maybe, something better will happen next.

What's wrong with me is that I keep on fast forwarding my life. But I deem it natural. I think too much. I always had this inclination that when you leave me alone, the next minute I'd be ruminating on the things that will happen next. That's why I would love to quote Achie with this one "When I was young, I used to think of the future. But now that I'm older, I tend to live each day to the fullest because we only live once. Be happy, do what makes you happy. Walang dieta-dieta."

That came from a fourty-something woman, a doctor at that, happily married with two kids. Can life get better than that? Probably Achie's right. People just set high expectations from us. But hey, we're just humans. We are bound to commit mistakes. The best thing to do is to pray for guidance.

And of course it's always nice to hear what other people think of us. Achie sees me as a strong, independent woman, who sees everything as a challenge, and who aims for perfection. I hope I really am strong and independent. I would love to be. At the end of the day, life has always been so kind to me. I have always believed that life is beautiful, that life is good. But it can always, always be better, happier, more wonderful. What better thing to do than hold on to our prayers?

Now I'm starting to like those kinds of life conversations. I never had them in ages, well, not with my cousins, who are my pseudo-sisters. I just love them to bits. Thank you Ach for that wonderful conversation I failed to save in my YM message archive. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to just keep whatever you said deep in the corners of my heart and in my mind. In the future, I promise I'd also be a kick-ass woman just like you. I'd be gorgeous mom at 40. Beat that!

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