One Happy Day

I wish I had all the guts in the world to hug our dearest mommy mentor a while ago (I sure bet Ariane and Kaymee would have wanted that too). I never felt so enlightened, and comforted.

Had a great time sharing thesis experiences, the heaven and hell of research and gathering of all pertinent data, the RRL, the RQ (which we have totally forgotten). The kids basically asked how we came up with the topic and how we got to know our subjects. (Yes, they were shocked when we told them that originally, our topic was about Harry Potter and Hogwarts Philippines).

They were pretty amused by how we ended up shooting in different far flung places. Well, that's research, hahha! We have so much things to tell but we ran out of time. It felt so good to hear the younger generations asking questions that we once upon a time asked to the older batches.... and of course it's always heart-warming to hear Dr. Diaz talk about her mentoring us and what we went through. She was very giddy.

Then came the highlight of this one happy day. She asked us to stay and brought us bars of Toblerone as token. She was beaming with pride when she said that she placed the ribbons all by herself and personalized it with the cards. Awwww it made my heart melt. We talked about where we are right now and all our frustrations went on high. And since she's the best mentor in the whole wide world, together with Ms. Mel, who would have thought she'd mentor us even after we have graduated? Talk about love! hehehe!

Cam, Piyar and Karlapi also went and talked about their great works. Congrats again to Mitch, Piyar and Cam! And nice seeing you, Ms. Peralta! You loooook great!!!! :)

At the end of the day, it's always nice to go back to school and just sit outside the Commdept hallway. But you won't no longer talk about your thesis, or your mentor, or your consultation schedule... you'd sit and talk about how you miss school, your professors, and just the idea of hanging out and being with the company of great people.

One happy day worth my half-day leave, and Ariane's absence, and Kaymee's 'sick leave'.

Friday Night Out

What happens when stress is taking its toll on three working girls slash thesismates slash blockmates? The answer is pretty simple. They plan a Friday night out on the day itself. Impulsive? Not much. A text here and a call there is sufficient to bring together three gals, two from Makati and one from Ortigas to get together somewhere in Ayala, have a little chit chat on just about anything- well, primarily on boys and any other topic the world can offer.

A good Friday night out paints smiles on the career girls' faces. No worries, no bosses, no calls, no scheds, no nothing. Just wandering aimlessly, fitting bras, blouses to shoes, alongside giggling and chatting like there's no tomorrow. If we could only stay like this forever, why not? But Friday night outs in NYC and in other parts of this place called earth wouldn't hurt either. By that time, maybe, just maybe, these office girls would be meeting in a small cafe eating sour cream bagels with a cup of espresso, worrying about what to publish next, when to schedule a shoot or even what next Manolo to buy, what trench coat to wear. And oh, who to date... first or next? Why not? This is where dreams are born!

Love the Rain and Awkward Moments!

The rain keeps on pouring these days and it's really hard for commuters like me to go home after a heavy downpour. But what's soulfully gratifying is the chilly temperature inside the bus and the rich melancholic feeling I get from a short retrospection. Seeing the raindrops on the bus' window reminds me of the good ol days. And I continue my contemplation on what transpired within the day or just think of plain old memories while walking and skipping puddles after I get off the bus.

Like last night, I suddenly thought of this one awkward moment that I can still vividly recall and replay in my memory (and even rewind, mind you). It was Thursday then. I went down the LRT and hopped my way to South Gate. It was a happy day because my thesismates and I were already sure of defending our obra. So there I was, all smiles and feeling on top of the world.

I was behind this girl in her emo/punk/rockista fashion statement. You know, the usual, black tee-skinny jeans-black chucks-thick black eyeliner-kind-of-thing. I was a bit irritated because one, she was walking sooo slow, and second, she was talking on the phone in super pa-cute tone "Baby, Im here na, See you." I let go of the moment and when we got in, boy, what a surprise.

The emo-punk-rocker girl kissed and hugged that guy who was then part of my org and who once upon a time kept texting me and making pa cute, but because of I dont know what incident occurred, he never ever talked or looked at me straight in the eye again .

Of course, I have to pass by them and the really strange and awkward thing was, the jerk was looking at me sternly as if saying "BWAHAHA. SHE'S MY GIRL. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND" Yeah right. I was laughing so hard and went straight to our org's office to spread the news, to say the least. Oh, how people become so desperate.

Anyhow... Segue :-)

My three year-old kikay phone gave up on me after a hundred and one falls. It did serve me well. Im gonna miss the phone where I took my only solo picture with Sir Doy. Mom replaced it with a pink nokia phone though, the express music slide phone. It's pretty, but my samsung's prettier.

I promise to stay home this Sunday and Monday. By the way, our new mktg manager is lalalove :) She looks really cool!

Home On A Saturday Night

Apparently, mom's watching this boxing match and I cant squeeze in to change the channel. I really wanna lie down and doze off but heck, the tv's too loud. So anyway, I have been wanting to blog since God knows when but never got the time. Multiply's blocked in our office (but thanks to, I can still access it haha! Sneaky sneaky!)

I dont even know where to start, so this is gonna be a messy entry.
Random bullets, here we go.

- Im starting to love this fookien telenovela from da ai channel. The story is really good. It's a saga about a mother and her daughter-in-law not getting along. And because the culture is Chinese, the way the daughter-in-law is treated is simply unimaginable. She tries her best to please her mother in law but to no avail. The drama leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy after watching.

- I am officially missing school. I miss having the bestest friends to hang out with during breaks, amphitheater or sa halaman. I miss java, the icky oily smell at z2 and the crispers and thai bagoong rice in sps. I miss leaving home at 10 am and arriving just before or after lunch. I miss the long naps I usually have after long thesis editing hours. I miss going down to Vito Cruz LRT Station. I just miss everything in school.

- I have been ranting on how work life can be such a routine. You wake up at the same time every morning, leave home, and when you arrive, have dinner, shower and sleep. And the cycle goes on and on. Thanks to my aunt who calls me if she's around makati. She takes me to dinner and have coffee and walk around before going home.

- Dad pities me every time mom tells him of my experiences in commuting. Lrt broke down the other day, and then there was a huge fire in Pasay the next, and heavy downpour... Sometimes I just want to stop and cry, really. I feel like a lost little girl in a bustling mob. But when I think of the children in the mountains who walk for hours just to go to school, I feel inspired.

- Speaking of inspiration, why is not having a boyfriend such a big deal in the work environment? I dont get the point of asking "may boyfriend ka na?- wala?-baket". My golly. Go get a life. Mr. prince charming will come at the right time!

- Will leave on Wednesday for Cebu business trip. We will be having a small dinner with the press, a presscon of some sort and meetings with trade partners mall tour et al... I will be away for almost a week, 5 days to be exact.

- After three months, I went to the salon, had my hair cut and eyebrows threaded. It feels so good to be pampered and prettified- using my own hard-earned moolah.

- I need to earn more moolah. Sure, I have received two paychecks, err payslips, but I do get my weekly allowance from there, for my transpo and lunch, and for my shopping needs. I swear it's fulfilling to shop using your own money. Like one time, I went to kamiseta, I paid in cash and didnt bother to scratch the card. Ma, be proud.

- I love walking around salcedo village. Hmmm. Might buy a condo in..... 10 years time. Hahaha!

- Oh future talks. I will never give up on my NYC dreams.

Ciao. Have a great weekend!

Me & My Independent Self

I just love the word "independent". It makes me hum the lyrics of "I'm Every Woman" while crossing the pedestrian. It makes me walk high even if I can't get myself to wear a 3-inch pumps. It makes me feel like I'm wearing a trench coat over an RL dress and an LV carry all despite the humidity that the tropics offer.

But today, I am indeed every woman. I am so proud of myself. I have never felt so independent, so grown up. I felt every inch a woman.

The day started early. I know it was going to be a toxic one. I know I cannot do it alone. Medical and physical exam, nbi clearance, ss number. Imagine labyrinth like queues and the sweltering heat. But I survived. I managed to do everything alone.

(Well except that my brother dropped me off at the medical plaza where I got my medical exam, and then he went to office and spent his lunch break with me. How sweet was that. I lurvvve my brothers even if sometimes they are too lazy to fix their mess.)

Yes, I will be working. Those things you've read above are requirements for my pre-employment. I will start on Tuesday. I'll be working in a small-medium company with a very modest boss and a warm and friendly working environment. I am excited, but also scared. God help me and my independent self.

It's my first step towards what people call the real life. And my real life starts on Tuesday.

Growing Old is Painful

I have been wanting to write about the pains of growing old after we have visited my grandma last month. I figured out I was too afraid to write about it. But I'd rather face the reality that growing old can be too painful at times.

People now are too scared to even look old, what more the idea of reaching the age of 70, 80, or 90 to some? We combat the sagging and wrinkling of skin by using different anti-aging cremes readily available in the market but why fear about aging? It is nothing but part of life. I think it is not aging that we should be scared of, or ashamed of, but it is growing old that we should sometimes think about.

In the future, when we grow old, who would care to look after us? Who would care to give us a bath; who would dare to wipe us after using the bathroom? Thankfully we Filipinos don't think of nursing homes as one of the options. However, life can always be busy that we leave our grannies at home with our house help but God knows what happens when we're just not around.

My lola is 88. Her house is just 15 to 20 steps away from the house of my aunt, my mom's eldest sister. She usually spends the day alone. My aunt, given the distance of their houses, limits her visit to my lola to only a couple of times a week. While mom and other aunts and uncles visit lola during vacations only.

Lola is already old. And thin. And weak. She just watches the day as it slips away. She eats and a maid gives her a bath and sleeps with her but that's just it. It is lonely. Lola is lonely. Yet she does not even want to leave her small house (the small portion left when the big house burned down during the 80s) and move in with my aunt. After she got really ill last Feb., my mom's siblings gave her the option of living in Manila or moving to my aunt's place. She chose neither. Wanted neither. She wants to stay in her own space.

Seeing her last month almost broke my heart. Writing this entry makes it even more painful. I am hoping that someone really gives her full attention. I hope I can be the one to do it, if only she remembers my name, if only she remembers that pair of ceramic glass shoes she gifted me several Christmas ago, if only... too many if onlys. I hope mom can do something about it. I hope... I hope... too many i hopes

Growing old can be, no, is, painful. I know deep inside my lola's heart that she is in pain. She was once so cheerful and talkative... so full of life... But now she barely remembers her grandchildren. I don't want this to happen to anyone. I don't one anyone to grow old in such painful condition. I don't want any of my loved one grow old in pain. Let's keep our loved ones close to us and fill their lives with love and care. Growing old would be less painful that way.

An Update!

Woah. Last entry was written january 28.

A lot has happened. Thesis done. A hundred and sixty two units of load done. Last course card day of my life is done. Done done done. As of now, everyone's waiting for graduation day on june 21st. I'm excited. I'm nervous. Sort of mixed emotions right here huh.

I have been waiting all my life for this graduation day and I'm nervous as hell. I'm nervous because I dont know where to go after. Or I'm afraid I have nowhere to go. Thank God for three companies who have emailed and called me for exams and interviews. I hope I get in so I can be free of worries.

I recently had a "career talk" (or, career talk thru ym) with my mentor Ms. Mel. And I guess she's really the best person to turn to when you need advice on just about anything. And now apart from thesis, I heed her advice on my future career. Funny but I have thought of compensation, rather than the experience that I'll get.

And these are the things that keep me awake for the past nights. Wondering what would I choose between these companies but again in some instances, I stop, and remember that I'm still on the exam and interview phase.

I so miss blogging about non sense.

Three months of absence in the blogging world is too much.

I'll make it up. And try to come up with posts different from my multiply. :)

Untitled Kuno

Last night I prayed to the stars
with clenched fists
ruptured heart
and broken soul...
I whispered silent prayers
and prayed and prayed until I have lulled myself to sleep...

Ang nagagawa nga naman ng kapaguran.

Pampanga shoots are over. One subject down, two to go.

And I just finished my report on Investigative Journ. I think I yawned fifty times while reading the 29-page article.

Docufilm tomorrow! I'm excited with the freebie! Hmmm... last week Sir Doy gave turones... Ano kaya ang freebie of the day bukas??? Char, Joy, Kaymee, Les Sy, Malia at Kor, huwag na kayong mag tataas ng kamay ha. Give chance to others! Hehehe =)

I heard Ms. Mel suffered a heat stroke last Friday... Sana okay ka na ngayon Ms. Mel! :)

How scattered naman my thoughts.

Mag cha-chinese new year na!!! Bring on the ang pao!

...and the stars have fallen
darkness amid the vast midnight sky
and the prayers answered
through a whispered lullaby