Me Moment

what i love about myself is that i can be so independent at times. the anguish i have had the past days made me realize that i need to take a break. i have cried enough, my eyes blood-shot, my body numb. i texted dad, and it's really good i was able to vent it all out. i have his permission to go shopping and have a good time, have a good me-moment. a shout out for my own independence day.

i went to rustans first. my darling sweetie alyanna will be turning 5 this saturday and i need to buy her a present. she's always asking me to buy her a strawberry shortcake doll, and i have always refused. i told her that im going to buy her something that she can use. yeah she can use a doll for heaven's sake, but i have always loathed the idea of buying toys thinking that she would have new ones every month. i bought her clothes instead. i love it when i see her wear the dresses i bought for her, dresses i give 4 birthdays and 4 christmases ago. she has grown much over the years. i found a perfect pair of a cute rocker shirt and mini skirt from gingersnaps, the brand that never fail me when it comes to size. hehe. i hope she'll like it. i had it wrapped in rustans pretty pink wrapper with ribbons. she'll love it.

i strolled for a while after buying her stuff. i saw a couple of friends, maybe they were wondering why am i alone. i love to be alone. you know. i find the mall's ambience relaxing, especially that of rustans. but not yesterday, when there's really a huge swarm of people getting in my way. it's sale, so everybody's in hoolaboo mood. so it's sale. i still have a couple of bucks to spend. i dont want to shop for clothes,i thought i had enough. the pair of shoes i've been eyeing was way too expensive. books. i bought myself books. i just realized that i havent bought books for months now. i went to powerbooks glorietta but it isnt as relaxing anymore. i preferred buying at bibliarch. i bought two, actually i should have bought 3 because they're all 20% off. but since im still planning on watching a flick, i got two. and it painted a smile on my sad little face.

i redeemed my brother's free tall drink at starbucks and went to greenbelt, grab a ticket for Hairspray. i need a feel-good movie, and this just made my day. i'm laughing alone in my seat. it felt good to watch a flick alone, without any companion. the cinnamon roll and caramel frappe combination was also good. i felt at ease. i was able to spend a happy time with myself.

i was on my way home. rushing through landmark, to sm, to go to the mrt station. but then when i was near the escalator to sm, i thought i heard a familiar voice. it was achie jenny. she was surprised to see me alone. even kuya donald, her hubby, was surprised. alyanna even grabbed my hand and asked what i was holding. ninang, is that mine? she interrogated. what's inside? i said secret. i told them i'll be going and that i might be interrupting them, but they refused. they want me to go with them. God was so good He didnt want me to end up and go home all alone. We had dinner at Serendra, met with autie ruth, ahia jet, and long-lost cousin ate natz. it sure was a good bonding evening with them. yeah they were worried about me, wandering the mall, watching movie, shopping all alone. but i had fun. after all, this me-moment happens only for a few times.

auntie ruth drove me home last night. we ended up crying (no, actually nahawa lang siya sa kakaiyak ko) as i tell my disappointment with my mom. she's this ever-supportive aunt who will try to explain every tidbit of thing in the world. she told me that moms are like that, even her. she's insensitive sometimes to the needs of achie jen and ahia jet when they were younger. she said that it'll make me a better person, or maybe a better mom someday, if i do try to understand why my mom's like that. i still find it awful to cry in front of her. i did it a lot of times already and in the end, she'll also cry with me. awww. she's the bestest aunt and ninang in the whole wide world, earth, and outerspace.

go, have yourself a me-moment and savor the experience. =) alyanna had hers last night. she went painting-a-cookie in a small coffee bar in serendra. she wouldnt want me and her mom to help her paint. she said she'll do it alone. when she finished painting, there was this sense of accomplishment in her smile. i love just love my niece. pictures of her while painting will be posted soon. after i have bluetoothed it to the pc :)

by the way, im okay now with mom. maybe she realized she was wrong. i had an extension of my me-moment today. i cleaned up my study table, threw away the papers that i wont be needing anymore. my senses are a bit relaxed when i clean and throw my stuff hehe. oh, it's 1 in the afternoon, i have to go take a bath. i feel so sticky hehe. ciao!

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