Birthday and other things


When I was 11, I was excited to turn 18. I thought turning 18 was something so magical. I had a fairy-themed party, complete with bubbles spewing out of a machine, an antique swing that looked a bit lost in the middle of a garden, friends turned fairies (I think they still hate me until now :P). I remember planning my 18th birthday party down to the last detail- that was 7 long years ago.   

Now that I'm in my mid 20s, I'm trying to recall anything significant that I've made over the past. But I can't seem to remember any. And I'm worried. I know for a fact that I can't change the world, but when I try to close my eyes and think of things I've done, nothing really stood out. 

Sometimes it makes me sad. Sometimes I feel accomplished, but most of the time not. It's strange how I tend to evaluate my own life and end up hating my self, but now at least I have a motivation - a challenge to make this 25th year worthwhile. Big or small, I aim to do something that will contribute to the greater good (haha!). 

I'm grateful for all the surprises, the birthday greetings, all the love coming from everyone. The special people who made my ordinary day an extraordinary one. They who never fail to back me up and remind me I am loved and never alone. I am forever thankful for friends, for family. What is life without them anyway? I don't know why I'm surrounded with such great people, they truly are the best blessing I have ever received. This was the simplest birthday ever, yet one of the most memorable. 

On other things… I went out with my great great Korean friend Judy the other night. I was just so amazed with how she has everything planned out for her life. So much plans that I was getting overwhelmed upon hearing what she intends to do. I was on the verge of saying slow down, but then I thought it's her life not mine. On my way home, I was thinking about Judy, her plans, her determination. I hope I'll have the guts to do the same. 

One of my bestfriends' sister, who I became close with when she took a 3-month Mandarin program here in Taiwan, got married last week in Manila. After I have complained about how infidelity and mistresses are becoming too mainstream in Philippine media, I was able to witness two people who promised to be faithful, for richer or for poorer, until death do them part. I wish them forever and happily ever after.

One of my wishes for my birthday was for the healing of my uncle who took good care of my mom when she was young. I still couldn't believe how his health has deteriorated that when my mom sent me his photo when she visited him, my heart sank. I can hardly recognize him. I don't know why bad things happen to good people, I don't know why at some point in their life, they have to suffer- when all their lives they've worked so hard in building a family and helping others. I guess in a way, they become God's instruments to make us value life. To make me feel better, I think of my mom's side of the family- how they are so close and bonded, how they never left each other during difficult times. I'm just so proud of them.

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