Connect the Dots

There has to be gray areas in a black & white life.
I have no feelings anymore. My heart's numb, it cannot even feel the hurt nor the pain. I feel nothing. When I think about it, all I can do is let out a long, weary sigh. But I have learned a lot from all of these, and I know have a lot to be thankful for. Life will never be perfect, but we can try to make it better by being a better person. 

If I have to name one thing I love to collect now (it was Lisa Frank stickers when I was nine), it has to be my thousand and one fears. I have a lot of things that I'm afraid of. The least I can do to reassure myself that everything's going to be okay is to tell my head that I have good people to lean on and a God to pray to. 

This should just be a phase but at this point in your life, I don't know anymore. You made me the strong person that I am but my heart is not a rock just like yours. My heart still knows how to cry. My heart longs for that something we really never had, we really never shared. 

It pains me that everything has to be in this way right now. I have always wished and prayed that you find your own solace and think of the people you have wronged, and be at peace with yourself. 

I know there have been decisions done wrong, plans gone wrong. I know you cannot redo them but if you give yourself a chance to evaluate them, you can put everything back to life, back to where it used to be, or maybe even better.


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