Things We Do for Love

Everything's falling into the right place, right time, as of three in the afternoon. I'm rummaging through a stack of papers in my study desk when I suddenly remembered that something is to be done. Poof!!! The sript for the litcircle's event tomorrow.

Kembell Lentejas, if you were not my friend and my classmate since first grade, I will not do the favor you are asking from me. I cannot write a script in a day's time! but I did it out of love. And I don't speak that well before a huge crowd! but I will do it, again, out of love. (Mahal talent fee ha. Christian Go, kailan ang bayaran? Joke lang.)

Before I started keying-in words and sentences in straight Filipino, I opened my e-mail and received an e-owl from the sorting hat! It has sorted me in Gryffindor house! I'm so happy but the smile instantaneously vanished when I opened another e-owl from a muggle professor, ms. bacalla (it's 3:15). We have to photocopy a 30-page reading for the jornpra discussion tomorrow. Very well. Very well indeed. 30 pages, for tomorrow. Ahh. Are these the things professors do out of love?


On a lighter note, the first four days of the week was okay. Monday was recitation day for Litelec (that up until now I cannot comprehend the connection of Oedipus and the building of a city state) Tuesday, the big UAAP game, and ariane's christening unto the LRT2 world! Wednesday, a big day for cam thesis people! Orientation led by Dr. Diaz (see picture-- c/o Henrik B., and surprise surprise, thscam1=introre days). Thursday, fun activity in Wrifilm, exchanging of "triggers" (one liner that starts a story) and writing a 50-word story about it.

My "trigger" came from Majet. She wrote, "Habang nagpapalipas oras, napatingin ako sa langit at natulala sa aking nakita."

I continued,
"Habang nagpapalipas oras, napatingin ako sa langit at natulala sa aking nakita. Naalala ko ang kababata kong si Carla, at ang masasayang araw nang aming paglalaro bago siya pumuntang Amerika. Noo'y sabay namin itong nakita. Pero sana ngayon'y nakikita rin ito ni Carla. Ang bahag-haring simbolo ng pagkakaibigang kay ganda."

...Oh I also had a scrumptious dinner date with my fab aunt last night. We had a greasy peking duck wrapped in soft taco, glazed with hoisin sauce. Yum, forget the cholesterol. And haagen dazs after, summer berries and strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Double yum, forget the glucose. Slept with a heavy and bulging tummy.

Hay time flies too fast. Any spell to stop time? Stupefy?!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed. God save me from the 30-page reading and the (never ending) recitation for Litelec tomorrow. I know He will do it out of love too. :)

Busy Thoughts

Sorry for the unorganized flow of thoughts.

What an inexpressible delight. I just finished Harry Potter Book 7 The Deathly Hallows. And I must say, I am so deeply in love with Rowling. I can't wait for her Whodunit novel! Too bad, I did not take the rowling litelec class. Arghhh. Oh, we will be attending a "discussion" about HP on the 29th! I cannot wait. I'll be going with my girls, my thesismates!


I swear I will have to save moolah to buy this collection in Amazon.com

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Lately, I have been too attached to the song Wake Me Up When September Ends. Kasi naman, when September Ends, eh birthday ko na. I'll be one year older. And people expect you to be more mature when you come of age. It's pressuring that way. Anyway, I wont let pressure hit me, not until i turn 20! Well what better thing to do than make a birthday wishlist. But I'm afraid this list will just remain as wishes as I am really running out of moolah. I went shopping yesterday. Shirts, blouses, and a pair of denim. I was about to buy a bag, but I might go home emptyhanded so I have to let it go. I am so dying to have a pair of black pumps. And that Grendha sandals. Arghhh. I will make a wishlist, I just have to think what to put on the list!

Give me a second.

See, how unorganized my thoughts are?!

First Week

So what makes my week interesting? Not much though. The first week of the second term is by far the happiest I have encountered. I have good subjects! Well I planned on dropping Segment Production, but heck, imma just go with the flow. There's Wrifilm and Society, fun classes :) Litelec is okay. The discussions were not that engaging, but I constantly make an effort to participate in class. I hope that as we go further, ms malou would shed some light and bridge the connection of the origin of theater, oedipus & poetics, with the course drama and politics.

We had jornpra earlier. It was like being in a maze. There's lots of points to ponder. And the professor, she's good. She knows a lot (duh) to the extent that she's already contradicting herself, and she's an investigative journalist. I hope my classmates' expectations wouldnt just be limited to field trips. Grrr. Sorry if I find fieldtrips gibberish. Im not a fieldtrip-person.

Anyhooo, my thesismates and I are already planning on our thesis. Our deepest gratitude to dadaprofae for helping us out! I will be starting with the readings related to our proposed topic, and I have also started reading (a chapter a day) making documentaries by isabel kenny. It's hard to absorb every single word and idea of these books. By the end of the term, my brain will just.. poof! explode into pieces.

Byers!

The One Word Survey

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

Not as easy as you think.

1. Where is your cell phone?
- bed.

2. Your boyfriend?
- none.

3. Your hair?
- short.

4. Your mother?
- tv.

5. Your father?
- far.

6. Your favorite thing?
- book.

7. Your dream last night?
- unclear.

8. Your favorite drink?
- tea.

9. Your dream car?
- jaguar.

10. Say something about life?
- beautiful.

11. Your xBF?
- none.

12. Your fear?
- failing.

13. Where do you want to be in 10
years?
- NYC.

14. Who did you hang out with last
night?
- none.

15. What you're not good at?
- statistics.

16. Muffins?
- cupcakes.

17. When you DIE, u'd rather be
CREMATED or BURIED?
- cremated.

18. Where you grew up?
- cagayan.

19. Last place you've been to?
- school.

20. What are you wearing?
- shirt.


21. Where are you?
- sala.

22. Your pets?
- none.

23. Your computer?
- AOC


24. Your life?
- wonderful.

25. Your mood?
- happy.

26. Missing?
- someone.

27. What are you thinking about right
now?
- THESIS!

28. Your car?
- LRT

29. Your work?
- student.

30. Your summer?
- beach.


31. Your relationship status?
- statusless.

32. Your favorite color?
- pink.

33. When was the last time you laugh?
- kanina.

34. Last time you cried?
- ewan.

35. School?
- animo!

Litelec and Sir Doy's Classes!

I know this is gonna happen. My Litelec class has a different "subject", but we still have the same professor as printed on our EAFs- Ms. Jacob. Yun nga lang, hindi na South East Asian Drama- it's- drumroll---- DRAMA AND POLITICS. Sabi pa nga ni Ms. Jacob "South East Asian Drama? I never heard of that elective course in Lit." Thank you very much.

After my Litelec class, and after having my "much awaited" 4-hour break, it's time for Society class under Sir Doy! Ang saya saya ng class. Siyempre, Sir Doy yata. Funny thing was that he's conivincing us to transfer to the TH society class under Ms. Sibayan. Josko suicide ba itoh? Nagbubulungan na lang kami na kawawa na ang GPA namin hehe. Full packed na kasi ang 2 society classes ni sir. Walang naconvice kaya nagpadasal si Sir kay Henrik. At wala pa rin. Nagmakaawa siya, he promised that whoever volunteers to transfer, will be his friend forever. Hehe, wala pa rin. We had a lengthy discussions, alongside Sir Doy's cute jokes. He also advised us what to do for our thesis. Step one raw, "look inside you", ask yourself what excites you, and then "form the idea". Sana tama yung iniisip naming concept nila Ariane and Kaymee. It excites us naman.

I have two classes pala under Sir Doy. Society class, and the one I had earlier, WRIFILM (Writing for film). Sir Doy was afraid Wrifilm might become a JOKE class, kasi we were all joking around before we formally started the class. Pero nung nag settle down na lahat, first exercise agad! Make a 50-word story. Windang. We have to start with the first sentence that Sir wrote on the board. Counted ang words sa sentence niya. We can write in English or in Filipino.

The first sentence that Sir Doy gave:

Filipino: Hindi ko alam kung naiwan niya o iniwan ang sulat sa mesa. (12 words na agad)

English: I don't know if she forgot or if she intentionally left the letter on the table. (16 words!)

Natagalan kaming lahat mag-isip. I was just staring blankly on the piece of paper for three or more minutes until I came up with a story. At ito siya,


Hindi ko alam kung naiwan niya o iniwan ang sulat sa mesa. Hindi ko rin alam na ito pala ang huli niyang alaala. Ganoon talaga si Rosario. Tahimik, misteryosa, mahilig mapag-isa. Pero minahal ko siya. Ngayon, sana ay masaya siya sa kalayuan ng kumbento. Mahal ko siya, pero paalam na.

Heehee paki word count nalang. We were able to do the 50-word story. We read it one by one, reacted, suggested improvements etc. Hay kung lahat ng class ganito eh di ang saya saya na ng mundo.

I still have two new profs to meet! My Segment Prof (Segment Production), and Jornpra (Professional Practice for Journalism)! Thscam1 orientation pa pala.

Girlfriends and Good Times

Gahd. I so feel like Carrie Bradshaw today, Im on with my DVD and Book Marathon. Throw me a good pillow and Im ready to rumble. I wanna live Carrie Bradshaw's life SANS the you know-- sex and the city kind of thing. I dream of her profession- a journalist in Manhattan, who takes pride of her Manolo Blahniks and Dolces- and her great pals and girlfriends. Forget about her love life though. Gosh what if I ended up being like her? Unmarried in my 30's? Please Lord, No. Oh well, if that's what Im called for, then why not. I think I have my girlfriends with me to console me :)

They are simply one of the best gifts from God--- my amazing girlfriends. We decided we needed to take a break from all the arduous tasks we had for the term which eventually led to a little fiasco and a drama-o-rama with the 'rents.

Just what I thought, the four of us may have been destined to meet the four guys in few rows ahead of us at the movie theater yesterday. Too bad they left early. They might have watched Nancy Drew. Haha. But I swear, movie posters are indeed deceiving. Go figure. What was the title of the flick we watched? Haha. Kaymee and Joy, choose wisely haha. I fell asleep halfway. Who knows, if we got out earlier, we might have met those four guys. Haha i will not be cynical just for this time. Anyway, we all had a good time, no, erase that. Great Time. Let's do it again.

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Speaking of good, great times, Alyanna had a blast last Tuesday when she celebrated her fifth year in this beautiful world. We love her all so much! We just had a simple celebration but it sure was hella fun!

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Wait, I'll write more when I finish these three books. I started with the first one though. Ciao for now.

Me Moment

what i love about myself is that i can be so independent at times. the anguish i have had the past days made me realize that i need to take a break. i have cried enough, my eyes blood-shot, my body numb. i texted dad, and it's really good i was able to vent it all out. i have his permission to go shopping and have a good time, have a good me-moment. a shout out for my own independence day.

i went to rustans first. my darling sweetie alyanna will be turning 5 this saturday and i need to buy her a present. she's always asking me to buy her a strawberry shortcake doll, and i have always refused. i told her that im going to buy her something that she can use. yeah she can use a doll for heaven's sake, but i have always loathed the idea of buying toys thinking that she would have new ones every month. i bought her clothes instead. i love it when i see her wear the dresses i bought for her, dresses i give 4 birthdays and 4 christmases ago. she has grown much over the years. i found a perfect pair of a cute rocker shirt and mini skirt from gingersnaps, the brand that never fail me when it comes to size. hehe. i hope she'll like it. i had it wrapped in rustans pretty pink wrapper with ribbons. she'll love it.

i strolled for a while after buying her stuff. i saw a couple of friends, maybe they were wondering why am i alone. i love to be alone. you know. i find the mall's ambience relaxing, especially that of rustans. but not yesterday, when there's really a huge swarm of people getting in my way. it's sale, so everybody's in hoolaboo mood. so it's sale. i still have a couple of bucks to spend. i dont want to shop for clothes,i thought i had enough. the pair of shoes i've been eyeing was way too expensive. books. i bought myself books. i just realized that i havent bought books for months now. i went to powerbooks glorietta but it isnt as relaxing anymore. i preferred buying at bibliarch. i bought two, actually i should have bought 3 because they're all 20% off. but since im still planning on watching a flick, i got two. and it painted a smile on my sad little face.

i redeemed my brother's free tall drink at starbucks and went to greenbelt, grab a ticket for Hairspray. i need a feel-good movie, and this just made my day. i'm laughing alone in my seat. it felt good to watch a flick alone, without any companion. the cinnamon roll and caramel frappe combination was also good. i felt at ease. i was able to spend a happy time with myself.

i was on my way home. rushing through landmark, to sm, to go to the mrt station. but then when i was near the escalator to sm, i thought i heard a familiar voice. it was achie jenny. she was surprised to see me alone. even kuya donald, her hubby, was surprised. alyanna even grabbed my hand and asked what i was holding. ninang, is that mine? she interrogated. what's inside? i said secret. i told them i'll be going and that i might be interrupting them, but they refused. they want me to go with them. God was so good He didnt want me to end up and go home all alone. We had dinner at Serendra, met with autie ruth, ahia jet, and long-lost cousin ate natz. it sure was a good bonding evening with them. yeah they were worried about me, wandering the mall, watching movie, shopping all alone. but i had fun. after all, this me-moment happens only for a few times.

auntie ruth drove me home last night. we ended up crying (no, actually nahawa lang siya sa kakaiyak ko) as i tell my disappointment with my mom. she's this ever-supportive aunt who will try to explain every tidbit of thing in the world. she told me that moms are like that, even her. she's insensitive sometimes to the needs of achie jen and ahia jet when they were younger. she said that it'll make me a better person, or maybe a better mom someday, if i do try to understand why my mom's like that. i still find it awful to cry in front of her. i did it a lot of times already and in the end, she'll also cry with me. awww. she's the bestest aunt and ninang in the whole wide world, earth, and outerspace.

go, have yourself a me-moment and savor the experience. =) alyanna had hers last night. she went painting-a-cookie in a small coffee bar in serendra. she wouldnt want me and her mom to help her paint. she said she'll do it alone. when she finished painting, there was this sense of accomplishment in her smile. i love just love my niece. pictures of her while painting will be posted soon. after i have bluetoothed it to the pc :)

by the way, im okay now with mom. maybe she realized she was wrong. i had an extension of my me-moment today. i cleaned up my study table, threw away the papers that i wont be needing anymore. my senses are a bit relaxed when i clean and throw my stuff hehe. oh, it's 1 in the afternoon, i have to go take a bath. i feel so sticky hehe. ciao!

Worst Day

Yesterday must have been the worst day of my life. And so the story begins.

I woke up early, with head throbbing in pain and with my conscience talking to me. I
felt so useless because the night before I'm lying in a soft comfy bed with chills and fever, thinking that my vidprod groupmates were working their butts off to finish
editing our final video project. I offered to help but then going home at 12 midnight
did make me worry. Joy said that I have helped them more than enough, but it was just
the preprod book. I really want to cry out of exasperation because I thought our editor would finish it just in time. Thank goodness, thank God, when I reached Dhi's place where they were editing from 7pm to 7am (groupmates had an emergency
overnight at Dhi's, no toothbrush, no extra clothes, no nothing), they were already
polishing it off. Gahd. I'm really sorry groupmates.

Ate Melai lent a hand by lay-outing our poster. She did a great job. I
went back to school to print the poster and the DVD label. And of course, to
get my Genders course card. Genders class is one of the highlights of today's term
because I enrolled in that subject alone, challenged myself to gain new friends and yes, to accomplish what have supposed to be a group project, alone, well not much, since a groupmate did help. I got my course card and felt really satisfied with the result, I even thanked Ms. Jeane, she's one of the nicest earthling, I swear. So I was in a hurry, running from Andrew Building to get that good course card, to Miguel Building to capture the other final project for another subject. Mang Norman and I are really chums-chums. He lent me in an instant the mini dv player, and the other day, he allowed me to borrow the white board for our telepro set.

After capturing, I ran to Torre Lorenzo to have the poster printed. I had it printed in less than 15 minutes. It was already 10:15 in the morning, 11:00am is the deadline for our project. I prayed and prayed. Got a sidecar and hurried to my groupmates. They were ready. The rain started to pour. We ran and rode a jeepney to school. By 10:45 we were already in school, waiting for Mang Ric to open the Television Studio where we would have our final video project viewing. But alas, it was already
11:30 and our teacher hasnt arrived. The door opened, and it was Sir Doy. Oh Sir Doy,
you and my Genders grade were the only reason for smiling. Sir asked how was our
production the day before because I was the producer. I said it was good. Sir Doy has
this really distinct and cute way of joking. :)

Sir Doy (to Mang Ric, in his usual malambing tone): Anong oras daw magproproduce yung group mamaya?
Mang Ric: 6 o'clock daw po sir
Sir Doy: 6 ng gabi..?
Mang Ric: Opo sir
Sir Doy: Oo naman, alangan naman 6 ng umaga diba


Kaymee and i burst into laughter. I never thought it would be the last subtle laughter I would hear this day.

Sir Doy: Anong ginagawa niyo dito?
classmates in chorus: Ah sir, hinihintay po si *insert name of prof* viewing po
kasi ng finals.. Ah sir, mga isang oras na po kaming naghihintay
Sir Doy: Ganun? (with iling iling)

Cots texted Miss. She was in Vito Cruz already. After 15 mins no Miss showed up. She
showed up after another 15 minutes. We were already having our own viewing when she
arrived. She gave a sheet for attendance. And then the uber highlight started.

Miss: Paki pass na yung video compilation niyo. Kahit huwag na tayo mag viewing
Classmates handing in their video compilation
Miss: Ano to? Bakit Ganito to? Bakit ganito ang label? Ayusin niyo naman!
(her face all wrinkled. me fighting back my tears ang turning to Dhi's shoulder)
Miss: Hindi ganito ung pinag- usapan natin diba?

Classmates: Miss hindi niyo naman po sinabi na---
Miss: Mga bakla kayo, next time kasi ipa-clarify niyo pag hindi niyo naintindihan. Hindi lang ito nag-aaply sa klase pati sa totoong mundo.


(me holding back my inis-ness)

Miss: Ulitin niyo to. Hanggang 4pm nandito ako, mag papanel ako. MGa 6 o 9 nasa
SDA ako.


(me, in tears, still in Dhi's shoulders. miss notices me, and classmates' expression)

Miss: O bakit ka umiiyak? O bakit ganyan expression nyo? Hindi ko kayo prinepressure, kaya nga binibigyan ko kayo ng oras para gawin yan. Alam ko ung nararamdaman nyo

Im really on the verge of answering my teacher, if not for the lessons i learned from the good ol GMRC - good manners and right conduct - days. i want to defend my classmates and my groupmates who made an effin effort to finish everything just to find out that we f*cked up just like that?! Hello naghirap kami diyan! Dadating ka late pa?! You didnt even bother posting an announcement that you will be arriving an hour late, and that you didnt even bother posting some reminders before we submit our projects!

Talk about unduly professionalism! I am not expecting all teachers to be the likes of
Ms. Diaz, Sir Doy, Sir Gary or even Sir Groyon. But the heck, among the new teachers
that we have, Miss Mel have pulled it off. She deserves to be called mini- Ms. Diaz. I have always this mini dream of becoming a teacher, and if I'll become one someday, I will assure my students that I'll be guiding them all throughout. Ano ba naman yung
magpost lang ng "some reminders for the final video project" diba?


The story doesnt end there. Yes we were able to submit the entire thing at around 8pm, with my wallet crying in pain. I dont even have twenty bucks to pay a side car from the lrt station to my house. I texted mom and told her Im penniless and I need 20 bucks. Goodness gracious, she called ranting with a high-pitched tone that I should have yada yada yada and blah blah blah. I put down the phone, wanting to break down in tears. IF SHE ONLY KNEW WHAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH THE ENTIRE DAY, SHE WOULDNT HAVE THE NERVE TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT ON THE PHONE. I was able to go home, with my LRT card, and the money my mother sent to our security guard. I immediately went upstairs, with my heart filled with raging emotions. I put down my one-ton heavy bag, went to the room, and started breaking into tears. I cant hold them any longer, with my head throbbing in pain, and warm tears running down my cheeks. Why are folks like that?! Sleeping in the wee hours and waking up early, all those efforts go unnoticed. I hate it. Sana man lang diba, maintindihan nila at maunawaan iyong mga bagay bagay na talagang nagpapahirap sa buhay mo. Lahat naman kasi ng hirap na to ginagawa natin hindi para sa atin diba? Ginagawa natin ito para sa kanila, para mapasaya sila. Afterall, sila ang dahilan kung bakit nating gustong mag-aral ng mabuti. We want them to be proud of us. And yet sadly, it gets unnoticed.

This morning, I want to cry again. I woke up with my stomach aching. I asked manang to make me a cup of coffee. I drank and wait for myself to fall asleep again.
What have I done to deserve these bodily pains and anger?

I went out with my aunt and cousin earlier, I told them that if only my body has tear
ducts, it'll be crying til kingdom come. Well, the only thing that made things extra
better today is me having a decent pedicure (after a month of not having one) and seeing my grade for my Concept class, and of course, a social life back to normal. Hello Glorietta and Greenbelt!

Realization: You cant expect everyone to be professional. But they can try to be one.

I need peace of mind. Tomorrow is a book-marathon day.