A leap of faith

A month or two ago, I had this friend who seemed to know how to foretell the future. I guess what he once had said is now coming true, "...There will come a time that your faith will be tested, Jackie..."

I guess that time has came (or will still come in the future). I remember posting in my last entry that I'll be home by Sunday night. But I rescheduled it tomorrow night. Why?

Well I didnt mention here why I'm in Manila (heck, I did, that was the gown and pageant part) but also part of the reason why me and my dad came here was for his check-up. He has this thing in his right leg and on his tummy. I dont know the scientific term, but it basically looks like a huge pimple without the pus, and its red all over. Me and my mom are terrified because it's already weeks and they still haven't healed thoroughly. My dad keeps on assuring us that it'll heal by itself. But the heck, he seems to forget that he's a diabetic and those wouldn't heal in a snap of our two fingers.

So here we are. Last Friday he had his check-up. I asked him how it was, he told me that it was the blood, the blood is dirty-- or something like that. Okay, the doctor prescribed a lot of medications that caused him an arm and a leg, if you know what I mean. Saturday came and he's all quiet. Yeah I know something's bothering him. I went out last night with my aunt (his sister) and it was from her that I have learned why he looked so preoccupied. He worried too much by what his doctor had said. According to the doctor he needs further check-up because one of his kidneys might not be functioning well now (a really possible effect of diabetes). But then my ever-encouraging aunt told her not to worry and to ask for a second opinion from another doctor, on which I'll be accompanying him tomorrow (if he won't refuse my plea, he just refused it last night). He's very silent right now. Me and my brothers ate out, and he just wanted us to buy him something to eat.

Maybe he's upset. Maybe he wants to be alone. Maybe what's keeping him sad is the fact that his something's wrong with his health. Maybe he's worried on our future. Maybe he fears of something... Maybe... Full of maybe's...

If this is really a test of faith, well, in this time, I can't help but cling more to Him... ask Him to heal my Dad and take away his sadness, his worries, his fears, adhere to the fact that whatever happens is His will... and whatever His will is, will make me stronger as a person, and as a daughter. I know that His loving presence, through the company of my friends and people close to my heart, will carry me from the fears that are yet to come.

For now, I'll take the leap of faith.

Hey, dad.... don't be saddened by what you hear from your doctor (you know, they sometimes claim to know everything). We still have my debut to think about, and if that day comes, we will all be happy! Especially now I have thought of a theme! Hehehe... Cheer up! We're here for you!

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